We’ve Got  Winners Of 

Crazy Aunt Purl’s Home is Where the Wine Is

 Contest

Michelle S.
Marilu T.
Amanda W.
Jennifer L.
Serena
 

Congratulations to the winners!

We’ve Got  Winners Of The Susan Jane Gilman Contest

Sharon
Amanda
Julie
Ella
Florinda – Grand Prize Winner

Congratulations to the winners!

In the past two weeks, I have had SOOO much going on at work and in our family life.  I’ve hardly had any time to get my blog posts written.  I wanted to drop a quick note to let you know that this week you can look forward to the following posts:

*  Winner of ANM’s Beautiful Baby Contest

* Winner of Susan Jane Gilman Book Giveaway Contest

* Winners of Crazy Aunt Purl’s Home Is Where The Wine Is Contest

* Book Reviews on Elizabeth McCracken’s An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, Seth Grahame-Smith’s Abraham Lincoln-Vampire Hunter, and Libby Malin’s My Own Person Soap Opera.

I also just finished O!Juliet, which was far better than I had originally expected. 

I’m off to get the twins to the movies, hit my second job, and then tonight I will hopefully get all of the winners posted.

I hope everyone is having a great Sunday and I can’t wait to get caught up tonight!

Last night’s finale of The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love gobbled up 3 & 1/2 hours of my undivided attention.  In a way, it was like curling up with a good book, only better! 

In many ways I wish that I hadn’t read the spoilers and known in advance that Vienna would be Jake’s final decision.  But, what the audience discovered last night is that YES, they are still together and seemingly very happy.   But, let’s start from the beginning….

The finale took place on the gorgeous island of St. Lucia (*if you can’t fall in love there with no phones, traffic or worries, you can’t fall in love anywhere*).  Jake starts off the show by sharing that he’s “so in love with Tenley” and “so in love with Vienna,” but apparently for “totally different reasons.”  (*personally, if i were Vienna, i’d pitch a bit of a fit about that comment*)  He explains that Tenley appears to be “too good to be true” and that his physical chemistry with Vienna is “lightening hot!”  He expands on his feelings for Vienna by sharing that when he is with her he feels “content, warm and loved” and that he could picture her as his wife.  Ultimately, what he set his sights for was “the perfect girl for the next 60 years of my life.”  Unfortunately, he just didn’t know which one he would going to propose to.  (*i did*)

ABC foots the bill for the Pavelka Family to join the lovers in St. Lucia and Jake is very grateful that his family “shut down their lives” to help him fall in love.  (*but, didn’t he say that he was already in love with 2 people???*) So, Mom, Dad, 2 brothers and their wives get the VIP treatment in St. Lucia.  He tells the brood that he’s fallen in love so deeply.  He sets up Tenley as the perfect woman that she apparently is and Vienna as the most hated woman on the show.  Jake’s Mom responds to this information with, “Sometimes there’s something to that, Jake.” 

Mom: "You are perfect for my son." Tenley: "Did I mention my EX?"

First up for family review is Tenley-The-Great.  She enters the room and on cue exclaims, “Oh my goodness!” about the fact that the entire family is there to qualify the ladies.  Shortly thereafter, Tenley is spilling her guts about love, how great Jake is, etc. and Jake’s Pop starts to cry.  (*hmmm… her family cries on the drop of a hat, too… *) In her 1-on-1 time with Jake’s Mom, she tells Tenley, “When Jim and I are gone, it you girls who are the glue of the family.”  More tears.  But, never fail our predictable Tenley takes the opportunity to talk about her EX… AGAIN.  I think it was along the lines of, “I wanted to be one man’s wife and I value marriage.”  Cry. Cry. Cry.  (*oh, gag me with a spoon!*)  When Tenley gets Jim all to herself, she again shares about her EX and his family.  Jim cries again and we learn that Jim calls his son, “Jacob.”

Jake takes the opportunity to share with his mom that he doesn’t feel that Tenley knows his fun loving side.  She encourages him to share that side of himself.  The love-birds have a short chat in which he tells her that he’s hot and wants to go swimming.  She agrees.  They are running to the pool and stripping off their mikes.  In their clothes, they make out in the amazing pool.  The brothers jump in the pool in their clothes to join them.  But, the wives and Mom just wade with their feet and don’t muss up their dresses/hair.

The Pavelka Family’s reactions to Vienna are…

"Don't be a hater!!!"

• “She’s got a lot to live up to after meeting Tenley.”
• “She is kinda confrontational.”
• “I’m concerned about Vienna.”
• The opinion that Vienna poking fun at Jake is a “red flag.”
• Vienna was not “connecting well” with the family.
• The whole “brutally honest” thing is just an excuse for immaturity.  She should be more mature like Tenley.  (*”some day my prince will come…”*)
• Vienna is sweet and annoying.

So, as you can see… Vienna’s not fairing well.  She has a private conversation with the Sisters-In-Law in which they ask her, “Do you think he loves you?”  Her reply was, of course, “Yes.” 

“Do you think he loves Tenley?” they inquired.

“No.”

“So, won’t you be shocked if he doesn’t pick you in the end!” (*boo… hiss…. NOT nice sisters!*)

Yet, eventually she turns the attitudes around and there is a change of perception about Vienna from the Pavelka Family, although I’m relatively certain that Jim is still crying about Tenley.  Mom gives the “women are the glue of the family” speech to Vienna and she seems down with it.  All’s well that ends well with this meeting and we’re FINALLY done with Pavelka Family Time.

Moving onto my 2nd glass of wine…

Vienna and Jake have their final date in which they go to a sulphur hot springs.  Vienna doesn’t want to go in because it “smells like rotten eggs,” but once she feels the mud and concludes that they might have a pretty cool mud wrestling match, she’s more than happy to jump in.  She writes “I Love You” on his mud-covered stomach.  They leave the mud pit looking nearly like Aborigines and cruise over to a stream to clean off.  Vienna tells the audience that, in addition to the “major physical attraction,” she believes that there is only one soul-mate for each person in life.  She believes that she’s found her soul-mate in Jake. 

At her place that night, she gives Jake the promise ring that she wears (*long story short… her father gave it to her and it’s the reminder not to ever take it off until it is replaced by the wedding ring of her one true love*)  They have a wonderful evening and I’m just wishing we didn’t have to watch the Tenley date.  After Jake leaves, Vienna confesses, “It will crush me in a million pieces to find out that I just lost the only man that I ever fell in love with.”  (*sister, you’ve got a lot more life ahead of you… believe me… there will be others!*) 

As we approach the date with Tenley, we’re reminded of how Jake feels when he says, “It’s tough being in love with two people at the same time.”  (*gosh, i’d like to be in love with just one…*)  Tenley shares that she just wants to see Jake and “kiss him and hug him and just play with him… all day long!”  (*it is at this point that i discover the perfect advertiser for ABC:  an anti-nausea medicine manufacturer!*)  I mean, seriously.. she sounds like she’s talking about a puppy!  So…. (*sigh*), she’s obviously spent HOURS doing her hair and they end up going out on a boat to go snorkeling.  (*say ‘goodbye’ to that Pantene Hair*)  They see dolphins, snorkel, and the viewers are confused as to whether or not we are watching The Bachelor or The Little Mermaid. 

No onto the chemistry analysis… (*no prior schooling necessary*) 

Apparently Jake has concluded that he has a very fiery, physical chemistry with Vienna and an emotional chemistry with Tenley (*which completely freaks me out!*).  So Jake asks Tenley if she recognizes this predicament and ends up hurting the fragile Tenley’s feelings.  Apparently, she thought Jake’s biggest concern was that he wouldn’t be able to handle her.  (*i want whatever drug she’s taking*)  So, in her brokeness Jake is remorseful that he’s hurt her feelings and says, “She’s so kind, so sweet.  Oh my gosh, what have I done?”  (*maybe, just maybe they are perfect for one another*) 

The tearful goodbye with Tenley.

Tenley’s mission that night was to get that physical spark going.  She said that she wasn’t all that confident about Jake choosing her because of the whole “chemistry” thing.  When he arrives at the door she SPRINTS to open it.  They attempt to have fun and talk things through.  Tenley takes him to her bedroom and gives him a token of her undying love.  She then says, “Now I can tell you that I love you.”  Jake dons her the “Girl With A Heart of Gold.”  (*wasn’t that from the movie about the cop and the waitress who share a winning lotto ticket?*)  Anyway, this totally irks me because earlier he had said THE EXACT SAME THING about Vienna. 

I have loved falling in love with you and I loved feeling alive with you.  Thank you for giving that to me,” she whispers. 

Hurry... Vienna!

Jake gives her the puppy-dog face.  Apparently he explains his decision further by stating that he wasn’t comfortable being himself with her and that you just can’t force that feeling.  Tenley tells him, “My heart feels broken right now.”  In her limo ride she shares, “He brought a lot of life back into my life.  Now this is opening an entire new can of worms.  Jake will see the mistake he made and I feel bad for him.”  (*i think her true career calling should be writing cards for Hallmark*)

After the rain, there is the sunlight and thank goodness that Vienna is on her way.  Jake coos, “For 31 years I have dreamt of a moment like this.  I would NEVER ask for a woman’s hand in marriage unless I was 100% sure.  The decision is just way too big.”  From Vienna’s thoughts on her helicopter ride we learn, “Jake is my soul-mate.  I found my place in life and that place is with Jake.  It really is.  If Jake tells me that I’m not the one, I’m going to be comp;letelyu lost because when I found him is when I found myself.”  (*i never knew she was lost*) 

She approaches Jake.

“I’m completely in love with you,” she says.

He starts off by returning the promise ring.  Vienna looks frightened that he has chosen Tenley. 

“Vienna, I love youwith everything that I am.”

“I love you sooooooo much, ” she replies.

“Will you marry me?” Jake asks.

“Yes!  Yes!”

Cue the music:  On The Wings of Love by Jeffrey Osborne.  (*finally*)

(*i am now clapping*)

Moving onto the “After the Final Rose” episode, I just was DYING to find out if they were still together.  First we have the Tenley interview and face-to-face with Jake.  Her dress was just like Vienna’s on the finale, but shorter (*odd*).  Again she starts with “Oh my goodness!”  (*it’s her signature line*)  We learn that she is healed, ready to love again, etc. etc. etc.  Jake offers her a life-time friendship and she accepts. 

Chris Harrison and Jake discuss the horrible press that the tabloids have been giving Vienna and he immediately defends her. 

“Vienna’s my baby,” he states, “It’s like a fairy tale every day.  She is the kindest, most gentle person.”  And later, “She is the best girl for me.”

In defense of Vienna, I must say that I am a true believer in being the person you are supposed to be,  in spite of the consequences (good or bad).  Over the past several weeks,  I’ve maintained that Vienna was a favorite of mine and, to this day, I believe for the right reasons.  Being an “imperfect girl” (*uh… who is perfect… besides Tenley?*) who always says what’s on her mind herself,  I found a kinship and understanding with Vienna.  For being REAL,  she’s received a bad rap in the media and I find it unfair… and, simply… poor journalism.  Can’t the imperfect girl be the recipient of love and the happy ending?  I say, “YES!”

Despite the media’s influx of negativity,  just know that I couldn’t have been more surprised and happy than to see Jake and Vienna still a couple in love.  Jake adds, “I had no idea that one day I’d call her my wife.”  Vienna defends herself by intelligently pointing out that perhaps the tabloids should interview her current friends rather than the people she knew in Junior High.  

But the best part for me was watching a couple in love, dancing to “On The Wings of Love” as serenaded to them by Jeffrey Osborne.  At the end of the song he whispered to her, “I love you.”  In reply, she mouthed, “I love you, too.”

I’m a sucker for a happy ending! 

 Could it be true love?

Romantic hearts hope so.

Favorite Couple Pics:

Notes:  Ali is confirmed as the next Bachelorette.  She wants 50 guys to choose from, not 25.  The DWTS contestants are announced.  Jake will be joining the cast which includes Pamela Anderson, Chris Ochocinco, Aiden Turner, Niecy Nash, Evan Lysacek, Erin Andrews, Shannen Doherty, Buzz Aldrin (*can he do the moon walk?*), Nicole Scherzinger, and Kate Gosselin.   

For prior week’s recaps:

Author: David Lovelace

Publisher: Plume

ISBN #:   978-0345505347

Type:  Non-Fiction:Memoir

Pages: 304 Trade Paperback

Published:  11.24.09 (Reprint Paperback)

Website: http://www.davidlovelace.info/index.html 

Purchase:  $9.99 (HERE) 

The Review

ABC’s Creating The Drama To Pull In The Ratings

How many times have you seen the commercial for tonight’s episode?  You know, the one where all of the women are assassignating Rozlyn’s character?  I must have seen the advertisements several dozen times in the past few days.  All I can say is, “Those in glass houses…”

"Yes, Chris... I'm happy."

As we started off tonight’s episode, Chris Harrison announces that this was the most “dramatic” season ever.  Can we just identify and utilize a new adjective at this point?  I’m serious.  How about “theatrical” or ”sensational”?  After we are thoroughly convinced that there could be nothing more dramatic than this show, Harrison plays a clip of him hosting an on-camera interview with Jake.  During this interview, they concentrate on Tenley, Vienna and Ali.  Jake watches the footage of when he and Tenley discovered identical messages in the custom made fortune cookies and said they were a “match made in heaven.”    When asked about how he feels about seeing Ali again, he looked like he was about to burst out in tears and said, “I don’t know.  I don’t know.” 

(*hmmm… sounds like my guesses from the past two weeks may be on the right track… *)

I encourage ABC to reconsider their staffing of writers for this show.  In addition to the word “dramatic” they also recycle “controversial” annually.  This time it was used to describe the upcoming appearance of “Television’s Most Controversial Person of All 2010.”  Did Mike Fleiss want to remind his proof-readers and AP’s that it’s only February 2010 and that Rozlyn had maybe 1 day on Extra and ET?  She’ll be remembered, perhaps, in the “Best of 2010″ recaps at the end of the year… maybe.  But, she’s a flash in the pan, like Wes of Jillian’s season. 

Speaking of Wes, the cheatin’ bastard…  ABC spent entirely too much time providing footage of post season’s cast members partying it up in Vegas and on a cruise ship.  There appeared to be more hook-ups than an Alaskan season of salmon fishing.   Wes was to be found amongst the crowd bragging about his sexual appeal to the ladies.   After I barfed,  I wondered how many records he’s selling in Mexico this year.

Too offset the booze, sex and rock n’ roll, ABC then decided to preach to its audience about the importance of charitable work.   It was nice to watch, but a total waste of my time.  I really don’t need to watch Deanna Pappas chasing around a 10-year old Jose with a rose.  (*aren’t there laws about that?*)

O.K., so ABC & Mike Fleiss… let’s recap where we’ve just wasted an hour of your audience’s lives on:

• The Bachelor is DRAMATIC
• Stay tuned because the most “CONTROVERSIAL” person of 2010 will be on soon (*i wonder if Sarah Palin would agree?*)
• All of our cast rejectees are actually having a ton of fun partying it up while not in committed relationships
• Save-The-Date-Card for our frig’s:  Jason & Molly are getting married in two weeks
• Jake is obviously alone and this season was a complete waste of our time.
• P.S. Don’t forget to donate your time to charities

Moving further into the commercial-packed episode, my favorite comments from the ladies were the ones of them teasing Tenley.  Specifically one said that she “sh*ts rainbows” and Vienna said, “I think she might dream in cartoons.”  (*whistle while you work…. la la la la la la*)  Some of the ladies defended Vienna after crapping on her all season by saying, “She’s only 23 years old” and “She is a good person.”  Gia defended her by saying that some of her immaturity doesn’t make her unworthy of finding love with a great man.  I couldn’t agree more.

While panning across the bevy of beauties and their interviews, I kept going back to Kiss-Me-Not-Elizabeth’s chest.  I’m nearly certain she’s had a re-do and enlargement.   In addition, Harrison interviewed Crazy-Pants-Michelle and asked her (and the women) if ABC correctly portrayed her personality.  She down-played it, but Valisha called her out on it and told her “Maybe you’re a little emotionally unstable.”  (*that’s putting it mildly ’cause I can see the bunny boilin’*)

Eventually we get to Ali’s interview in which she basically admitted that she’d make a mistake and, YES, if she could do it over again she would.  But, she honestly thought that since Jake is a pilot that he’d come and find her if it was true love.  (*contractually is he allowed to do that?  we should ask Rozlyn the contract expert*)  Ali attempts to make amends to Vienna for being so out-right rude to her.   Specifically,  she regretted the comment that she made about Vienna having the 1-on-1 with Jake.   Ali admitted that she was disappointed in her actions.  (*i wonder if the producers directed her to say this so that she can gain fan favor before she stars as The Bachelorette?*)  She specifically apologized to Vienna and expressed that nobody deserves to be trashed like that in the tabloids and encouraged Vienna to “stay strong.”  When Harrison inquired if she would do things differently if she could go back in time, she replied, “Knowing what I know now, yes.”  (*you mean knowing that Jake picked nobody and is pining away for you?  or, Jake dumped Vienna and is pining away for you?  or, that you need to say this to gain fan favor so you can be the next Bachelorette?*)

The PA finally brings out Rozlyn.  As she makes her way down the hallway, she hears applause and comments, “I’m assuming that cheering was not for me.”  Rozlyn Papa (RP) and Chris Harrison (CH) have a battle of the wits.  But, much of the conversation has been so widely publicized in the media that there was really nothing new to learn.  To save you valuable minutes of your life, here are the highlights of the verbal smackdown:

* CH asks RP a series of rapid-fire questions…

  – Did you meet him in your hometown?  Yes, but there was nothing inappropriate about it.

  – Did anything happen?  No.

  - Did you meet him in a LA Hotel room and have inappropriate behavior?  Absolutely not.

  - So, you’re saying this is more of a friendship? Absolutely.

* After every person speaks, Roz’s standard answer is either “no,” “absolutely not,” or “on my child’s life absolutely not.”  (*later Jessie swears on her dog’s life that she saw them on the stairs making me ponder… dog’s life…? child’s life…? dog’s life…?  child’s life…?*)

* The women basically state that there were 3 “inappropriate behaviors:”

  1.  She was touching his thigh while they sat on a couch.

  2.  She was on the couch on all 4’s with her butt up in the air asking for “the staffer” to take her to bed.

  3.  She was caught making out on the staircase with “staffer.”

  4.  She was missing from her room at night and couldn’t be found.

The man who needed to take her butt to bed.

(*why on earth are we still calling him a staffer?  everybody knows it’s Ryan Callahan.  chris, just google it!*)

* RP says to CH, “Riddle me this, Chris… ” before she asks him why nothing was captured on tape.  She points out contract issues.  CH tells RP that it’s not a Las Vegas Casino open 24-hours a day and that they don’t have cameras on all the time because they were afraid of people stealing anything.

*She fires back with a comment that “staffer” claims that CH hit on his wife in New Zealand but CH doesn’t want to dignify that comment with an answer.

 

* CH likens his conversation with RP to the ones he has with his sometimes dream-like, imagnitive son when he brings up unicorns and tells her “I hope you learned a life lesson and will become a better person.  

I think a friend of mine best summed up the entire situation when she said, “I think they were friends and that the other women assumed too much.  Then, the story got out of control.”  I wonder if my friend should sit down with CH and explain that?  (*sorry, Chris!*)

(*at this point, I’m clicking back and forth between this and the bedazzled costumes of the Olympic ice-dancing competition which was far more entertaining*)

When Jake sees the ladies, he tells Gia that he was sorry and that his “heart was crying” when he said good-bye to her on the bench.  He practically bursts out in tears about Ali and tells her, “I’m sorry.  I think you are one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met and you’ll always have a friend no matter what.”  (*“never had a friend, never had a friend, like me!”  oh, snap! Tenley, get out of my head!*)

Chris Harrison asks Jake the same question that he’s asked every Bachelor and Bachelorette for years, “Are you happy?”  

She doesn't look very happy to me.

And, the always-to-be-expected-answer, “Yes, I am happy.”

(*good, now back to ice dancing and ski jumping… much more “dramatic”!!!*) 

 Stay tuned for next week’s review!

But, before I do… just another picture of the guy that Roz Papa chose over Jake:

"Karate.... CHOP! Aha! Take that, Harrison... you wife-flirter'er!"

 For prior week’s recaps: