Saturday, Jul 3, 2010

Books of Love…

Arriving back up from the depths of beyond, I surface to share with you two books that I’ve recently read… very different… yet, both about love.

Love is a funny thing.  It’s been written about since the beginning of time and yet it is still the most inexplicable yet crucial part of human existence.  It makes me wonder what a world would be like without it.  Could there be a world without it?

Love comes in and out of your life in odd ways.  It can cut you to the core of your soul and carry you to the highest elevation.  It tethers you and defines you and teaches you to grow.  It consumes you and redeems you, but it can also hold you captive.  It seems that a man or woman’s true beauty and accomplishment derives from how you grow through life and how love teaches you those crucial lessons, the ones that your soul requires to flourish.

I recently read a memoir by Lisa Jones entitled Broken: A Love Story – A Woman’s Journey Toward Redemption on the Wind River Indian Reservation (Scribner, Trade Paperback, May 18th, 2010, ISBN 9781416579076, 288 pages, $10.20 at Amazon.com).   This was a moving recital of her journey to a life she never expected; one filled with such spiritualness, love, and friendship.  

Lisa thought she was in love with her boyfriend at the time she traveled to Wyoming to interview a notorious  horse whisperer, Stanford Addison, a Northern Arapaho.  The special thing about Stanford was that he was a quadriplegic.  Not only was he known for his gift with horses, but it had been said that he had cured people with everything from cancer to bipolar disorder.

During her many visits to Stanford’s home, she grew to become a part of his inner circle and developed a strong bond with Stanford.  Their friendship started Lisa on a journey of self-discovery that opened up her heart and helped her see so many truths about life.

“In Standford Addison’s kitchen, I quit worrying.  As I listened to the stories of my new, interesting, worthy friend, my own twists of fate stated looking a lot less like doom and more like The Way Things Are.  Here, outside the bubble of good foturne that constituted material reality for most people of my age, class and race, I could actually learn something useful.  This Arapaho man and his friend the cowboy had suffered more than anyone I had ever met.  They’d endured physical pain I could only imagine.  They had fucked up extravagantly when they were young, gotten hurt, then suicidal, but now they were kind and wise because all their misfortune had pried them away from serving their egos above all else.  They had spun the worst kind of misfortune into something reverant and beautiful and real.  They showed me the rock-bottom truth so often obscured from the white middle class.  Life doesn’t do a damn thing you think it will do.”

Lisa eventually found that love and peace that she had been searching for.  It wasn’t pain free and there was certainly a price to be paid, but it was the sweetest of all for what she received from it.  Lisa shares in the book that Stanford says:

“Life isn’t about happiness.  Good times are followed by bad times; bad times are followed by good.  Life isn’t about staying clear of pain.  Life is about finding your center, even when things are so painful you want to run like hell in the opposite direction.”

I know what it feels like to want to run in that opposite direction.  For me, it is love that tethers me back to my center… which is my home and my family and the hope that one day I will understand the meaning of my life. 

This book gave me a lot to think about and I always looked forward to picking it up.  I grew to feel a deep attachement for the characters in this book and now subscribe to Lisa’s blog.  Her website has  terrific links with photographs and videos which bring the reader even closer to Stanford’s home and beloved existence.

I HIGHLY recommend that you take a few minutes and watch this video in which Lisa reads from parts of her book to a montage of photographs of the amazing Stanford Addison and his ranch in Wyoming.  It  shows, in such a small glimpse, how beautiful this story really is.

Veering off into a TOTALLY different direction,  I read another memoir about love… Hollywood style.   I have been a follower (does that mean I’m a fan?) of Tori Spelling since my teen years.  OK, this in part due to watching Beverly Hills 90210, the real one, not this attempted remake.  Over the years, I have read and reviewed her two prior memoirs an in addition to watching her television reality series with her husband Dean McDermott and their family.  She’s a bit of an odd little duckie.   At times I find her completely off her rocker and wonder how anybody could be so nuts.  Then, at other times, I see her as a working mom, just like me, facing obstacles that a lot of working moms do.  Only, hers are only more complex due to the stigma attached to her fame.

I imagine growing up the way that she did.  How do you move from that type of uber-wealth, fortune and fame to being cast out of a will and making a new life for your self from the ground up?  In this 3rd installment, uncharted terriTori, (Simon & Schuster, June 2010, ISBN 9781439187715, 214 pages Hardcover, $14.46 at Amazon.com).  She shares in this memoir what has transpired in the last year or so since Mommywood.   In her words, she attempts to disspell the rumors or tabloid attacks that her marriage is heading towards divorce.  I believe that Tori takes a look at herself and sees that she is trying to achieve too much in too little amount of time.  Like many mothers, she has taken her focus off of her marriage and redirected it towards the children.  The romance that once was her fairytale, her everything seems now to have slid into 2nd seat.

Coupling the marital issues, Tori  is still navigating her way back to redemption with her family.  She longs for a relationship with her mother, perhaps not the one that she once had, but one that a grown woman needs.  This gradual reconnection is shared in this book as Tori describes her return to the Spelling Mansion for the annual Christmas Party.

In addition to her multiple businesses (children’s clothing line, jewelry line, authoring memoirs and childrens books, the reality shows, acting), Tori tries to take on the role of perfect mother.  She involves herself with the childrens’ school activities and overly commits herself to holiday food contributions.. to which she thinks thay must be amazing, hand made, clever, and healthy.   She takes on the scrutiny of the other mothers for celebrity status and has to work twice as hard to prove that she’s just a regular mom like the rest of us.    On top of all this, she takes her family and friend on a road trip to redecorate her best friend’s home as a surprise.

Now, I don’t know if she’s wearing an invisible cape or has a lot of help… but, if that were me, I’d be exhausted.  And, I’m afraid (and, solely in my opinion), that type of exhaustion leads to ill health.  Tori writes about her trips to the hospital (swine flu, stomach issues, etc.).    Her weight is well below healthy standards as she attempts to hold onto 103 pounds.  Frankly, I hope that she will be willing to give up some of her committments and slow down her pace.  She discusses considering this in the book, however dismisses the thought almost as quickly as it arises.  With such beautiful children and a husband who appears to really love her, I hope she finds that center.   For some reason, I fear she still has a long way to go before love will take her there. 

So, for mommies who love stories about raising kids, juggling life, and finding stolen moments with your husbands, this book is a delightful summer dish.  For Tori fans, it’s a not-to-miss installment, although much of the content was duplicated in her television series. 

Disclosure: I am an Amazon.com Affiliate. There are links within this post that take you directly over to the Amazon.com website. You are under no obligation to purchase either of the two books or any items listed in this article. I purchased one of the books reviewed herein and the other one was provided to me by the author.

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