The “Blogiverse” is Still Chatting Away…

  
Before watching tonight’s show, I did a bit of investigating around the ”Blogiverse” to see if I could find out what’s going on with the girls remaining on the show and if the spoilers from last week are still believed to be true.  I found a rather dispairaging article about Vienna Girardi, but Chris Harrison comes to her defense in this response.  Sources also claim that after Vienna wins Jake’s heart and the final rose, they break up within 2 months after the ending of the taping of the show.

Off of the “scoop” and onto the recap…

Gia meets Jake in New York City, New York.  She decides to take him on a boat ride down the Hudson to show Jake “her city.”  She points out the Empire State Building and I wish I had a picture of his face to show you… it was almost like he was trying to be polite but at the same time saying “duh!”  Jake brings up her past relationships and she admits that her ex is a cheater-cheater, pumpkin eater who has bad communication skills.  They take about 1,000 photos of themselves on the boat and then head to a restaurant for dinner.  The entire restaurant thing makes me question what’s up with her family?  They usually always do the dinners in the home.  What secrets could Gia’s family be hiding?  At dinner are Gia’s Mom, Step-Dad, Step-Brother (*with some FUNKAY hair*), and her half-brother.  Somehow, Gia’s Mom’s makeup gets smeared and nobody bothered to mention it to her.  She has black streaks under her eyes during the entire meal.  (*that poor woman*) 

During Jake’s 1-on-1 time with Gia’s mother, she asks him how it is dating the four remaining women.  Jake confides that he’s fallen for all 4 of them.  This then poses her next question which is what makes her daughter so special.   

“It’s taken me a long time to get to know Gia and the one thing that I can honestly look you in the eye and honestly tell you is that she has a way about her.  It feels organic and there was an immediate chemistry.  She’s amazing.”

Meanwhile Gia is chatting with step-bro and she shares that she still has a big wall up around her heart because of past heartbreak (*who doesn’t?*).  Later Mom and Gia have a little heart-to-heart chat.  Mom tells Gia that she thinks Jake loves her.  Gia explains that she wants to be set apart from the other women (*again, who doesn’t?*)

Jake shares his feelings for Gia, “When she lets me in… Oh My God… I love this girl… I love this girl.”

(*uh-huh.*)

The next date is with Ali in Williamstown, Massachusetts.  Jake shares that he just wants to get close to her.  He sees her, kisses her, and tells her, “I missed you.”  They sit and look at the barren trees with the fallen leaves on the ground.  Ali tells Jake a story about her childhood in which she used to try to catch falling leaves before they touch the ground.   If she caught one, she would make a wish upon it.  So, he gets up and drags her to the only remaining tree with leaves yet still attached.  He violently shakes it and leaves begin to fall.  Ali desperately attempts to catch one and Jake grabs his.  They make their leaf-wishes and move on to deceased Grandma’s house.

At this “special place,” Ali shares about her relationship with her grandmother who was actually more like a mother to her (*I bet her mother will really appreciate hearing this*).  She walks Jake through the empty home and shows him a picture of Grandma on the fireplace.  Ali explains to Jake that Grandma wanted to meet him and that her spirit is living up there in the house.  She continues to say that Grandma has now accepted Jake into the family.  She ends by telling him that Grandma is in tears because she’s so happy looking down upon them.  (*time to call Zak and tape an episode of Ghost Adventures*)

Sappy leafs and stories later, they finally arrive at dinner.  They are greeted by Ali’s mom, sister and brother.  At dinner, Ali’s mom tells Jake that Ali is ”so compassionate” and has a “heart of gold.”  (*uh, wait until she sees her daughter rearing her ugly head when she attacks Vienna!*)  Ali’s mom asks the typical questions about what family means to Jake.  Of course, he gives the expected answer of family meaning everything to him.  Jake takes the opportunity to get Ali’s Mom’s blessing in the event he proposes to her daughter; she not-surprisingly says “yes.”  Apparently Gia and Ali have something in common other than their 3-letter names, they both have mothers with strong intuitions.  Ali’s mom says that she has a strong intuition that Ali will get a ring on her finger and that her intuition is almost never wrong.  (*maybe a Craker-Jack one?*)  Ali tells Jake that she wants to be with him and that she wants him.  She admits that if it’s her at the end, she would say “yes” and, for that matter, she’d say “yes” today if he asked.   Jake relays, “this could be the girl.”

We then travel to Newberg, Oregon where we get a toothache while watching Tenley’s date with Jake.  They take a walk in nature’s grandeur and Tenley is wearing the most God-awful boots that I’ve ever seen (*hurry, Fashion Channel, hurry!*).  This BEYOND-BORING couple discusses core values, morals and goals in life.  She asks him about his parents.  Then, she explains why she asked x, y, & z was because of the situation with her ex’s parents.  They then talk about being “a unit.” (*when will the torture end?*)  Tenley gushes, “Jake is not like my ex-husband (in that he wants to be a team).”  (*ooooggghhh… I think I’d have a better time scrubbing the toilet than watching this… *)

The torture sickens when we are now in Tenley’s dance studio where she insists upon exposing her soul to Jake via a dance she choreographed just for him.  Get this… her dance is to the song that they play at weddings when the people are all cruising down the aisle before “Here Comes The Bride” starts up.  She starts flittering around doing some sort of repetitive “lyrical” dance on her toes.  I honestly cannot recall who said this next doozie, but apparently she gave him an inside to her soul and he wanted to hold onto it.  (*are you freaking kidding me?  that’s the depths of her soul?*)  Tenley coos that it is so fun to have somebody to dance with forever.  (*is she on hallucinogenics?  was she raised solely on Disney films?*)

Finally we get to dinner aka WEEP FEST 2010.  Again Tenley talks about her ex-husband, “the man she loved and adored.”   She continues that the last time she saw her mother, she told her that he was not coming back.  (*sob*)  At this time we see the family’s super cool dog, which was my favorite part of the date night.  The family discusses how Jake got to witness the beauty that is Tenley when she dances.  He agreed and said, “it’s gorgeous!”  (*almost like thousands of ants crawling over my skin!*)  When Jake and Daddy-O-Tears talk, he reminds Jake that it’s only been one year since the divorce and that Tenley’s been doing a lot of grieving.  Yet, he compliments Jake and shares with him that Tenley would bring joy into a home.  (*what else?  I know!  A few bluebirds to land on the kitchen windowsill while she bakes apple pies.*)  Tenley and Daddy-O-Tears talk about the blessing that Jake is and they both start to cry (*again!*).  At this point, I think it was Tenley’s Mom who tells Jake that he should expect some “emotional spill-overs” for a while and then… guess…. oh, come on, you can do it… YES!  You’re right!  She started to cry!  Tears stream down her cheeks as she tenderly says, “She’s amazing and it’s a pleasure to be her mother.”  (*and we will live in a castle and live happily ever after*)

As if this date isn’t dragging on long enough, we get to sit through Jake asking Daddy-O-Tears, “Can I marry your daughter?”  Eventually he spits out his blessing but reminds Jake of the responsibility that it will bring and advises him that she is going to have to guard her heart so that her heart feels safe.  (*and, she can put on knee pads, a helmet, and elbow pads just to walk down the street*).  Tenley admits that she’s falling in love.  (*oh, isn’t that just the surprise of the night?*)

If you are still with me, and I’m doubting you are, we now move onto Sanford, Florida for Jake’s adventure with Vienna.  He greets her with a “How are you, Beautiful?”  She takes him down the river on a boat then takes him to meet the scary, ominous Daddy-Monster-Who-Will-Beat-You-Up-If-You-Mess-With-Me (*who is actually so sweet… love him!*).  Almost immediately, we’re in the motorcycle garage in which Daddy-Monster tells Jake that Vienna is serious now, she’s gone to school and that she’s not going to make 2 mistakes (*this is in regard to her other “oops” marriage*)  We get more tears at Vienna’s house when Vienna and Daddy-Monster cry and cry over seeing each other again.  There’s a gratuitous shot of Chloe the dog.  Vienna admits to her father that she’s never truly been in love before.  Then there was more “I missed you”-ing.

Back to the conversation with Jake and Daddy-Monster, he tells Jake that he isn’t too pleased that he’s dating 3 other girls and his daughter simultaneously.  Jake tells him, “I’m fallin’ hard.” 

“I’m glad about that… she’s my baby,” Daddy answers. 

Soooooo… at family conversation Jake and Vienna talk with the family about how all the women were giving Vienna a hard time.  Jake explains it as they were jealous because he and Vienna had an immediate connection from the start.  They all comment about how brutally honest Vienna is and how sometimes that’s taken by some people in the wrong way.  This leads to more discussion about her competitiveness.  At this point, I’m wondering if she’s really in love or competing to win.   We end the night with Jake saying, “I feel myself falling for Vienna.  You know it’s really awesome to feel this way about Vienna.  It’s also scary because it’s so real.”  Vienna ends her night telling the audience about the glow she now has from being in love that everybody in her family could see.  (*who needs Oil Of Olay when you have Jake?*)

If you’re still there… hang in for just a tad more…

Back in Beverly Hills, Jake prepares for the Rose Ceremony and ONCE AGAIN says, “I’ve fallen for all 4 women.”  (*icky poo poo*)  Ali arrives at the door (*as the spoilers predicted*).   She starts to cry, they land on the couch and she announces that she must make the impossible decision to stay or return to work.  She asks Jake to help her.  

Jake inquires, “So, what are you asking?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ali, life is about minimizing your regrets and you just have to weigh which one is going to be the bigger regret.  I can’t right now guarantee that I’m going to put a ring on your finger.  But, I can’t look you in the eye and tell you I’m not going to. “

She tells him that she’ll let him know her decision at the Rose Ceremony.

“Whatever you decide is okay,” he murmurs.

She departs, heads down the hotel hallway, and collapses to the floor in tears.  

Jake says, “All I can do is hope.”

(*the finger cramping from typing this long soap opera is kicking in*)

At the Rose Ceremony Jake admits, “I’m falling in love with more than one woman right now and I don’t know where that’s going to end up.”  (*how many times do we have to hear him tell us that he’s falling for all the women?  I think as many times as we have to hear about Tenley’s ex-husband.*)

The ladies arrive and Gia’s nervous giggle breaks the silence.  Ali asks Chris to take her to Jake.  It is here that they have the signature “non-exclusive legs-over-the-lap” position on the couch.  After Ali admits in a voice over that she’s finally met somebody “who was deserving of my love.”

Jake says, “If you’re in love with me, then you need to weigh that.”

“If you were mine, it would be easy, ” she replies.  She explains that if she quits her job and he doesn’t pick her then she leaves this experience with nothing.

“You weren’t on the line tonight,” Jake shares.  “Ali, I don’t want you to go.  I love the fact that I’m falling in love with you and I don’t want you to go.  If you choose to leave, I will be devastated.”

She whispers, “I love you.” (*but, she loves Facebook more*)

Chris Harrison pops in and lets them know that time is a’wastin’.  She says that she needs more time.  At this point she’s still crying and her hair is a complete disaster.  Ali finally says, “I have to go.  I’m so so sorry.”  Jake cries.  

Jake tells her at the limosine, “I feel like you are slipping right through my fingers and I don’t know how to stop you.”

After she leaves she tells the cameras, “I don’t know if I made the right choice.”  In thinking about this statement, the core essence o’woman in me thinks that if she was truly “the one,” Jake would have haulted taping to accomodate exploring this.  He didn’t.  Maybe he didn’t love her as much as he thought he did.  I think she made the right choice.  

It seems like moments later and Jake re-enters the Rose Ceremony with Chris Harrison.  His voice over tells the audience that he’s got 3 wonderful women there waiting for him and that if he gave up then, he wouldn’t deserve to find true love.  (*note to self… so that’s how guys move on!*)

Ali: Man? Job? Man? Job.

A thousand tears later…  she’s left the show. 

Gia: My mother will do a tarot card reading for you!

Had Ali not left the show, it is my prediction that Gia would have been the one to go. OUTCOME:  She’s staying.

Tenley: Bring Kleenex if you come to dinner at my house.

She spent more time talking about her ex-husband than she has Jake.  OUTCOME:  She’s staying.

Vienna: Daddy's girl gets caught making out on the bed with Jakie-Poo.

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