Tuesday, Jun 23, 2009

The Bachelorette: Wes, Wes, Go Away… and Don’t Come Back Another Day!

Jillian and the guys spend a week on the Rocky Mountaineer… an incredible train that takes them through the Canadian Rockies.  The views were absolutely spectacular and I felt as I experienced a bit of it, myself.  So, how does Jillian start off the week?  She pats them each on their tushie as they board the train.    ALL  ABOARD! 

The first 1-on-1  date is dinner in the caboose with Robby the Bartender.  He’s super cute and mixes a great drink… but, she’s concerned about his youth.  To this, Robby explains to the cameraman, “Love has no age.  Love doesn’t have a job.  And, love can most certainly happen at any time.”   

What did all of this romantic swooning get him?  Kicked off the train in the midst of the forest.  Well, actually it was at a train station and there was a white van to zip him away.  But, he just looked so tragic there on the side of the train tracks as the rest of them rolled away. 

Now down to 7 guys, Michael sheds a tear about Robby’s departure in discovering the reality that he may be separated from Jillian in an instant…like lightning striking.

So, Wes the camera-time-whore comes to secure another week of free camera publicity by visiting her in her private cabin to make sure that she’s okay after letting Robby go.  She crawls into his arms.  I notice that he has a tattoo on his arm with the name “Bobby” and a date of x/21/2000.  Hmmm… does he have a child?

The crappy singer with a bad beard takes the opportunity to share with the camera that he will “always have Jillian wrapped around his finger.” 

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

And, the producers just let this schmuck stay on the show without telling her?  Is it because they don’t want to admit a casting mistake?  Shame on the producers!  Shame Shame Shame!

 Next on the agenda was a group date which included Tanner, Wes-the-camera-whore, Michael, Kiptyn, Jesse, and Jake.  They get to go snow-shoeing.  The group plays a game of hide-n’-go-seek in which Jillian hides in a small pit by the base of a tree.  Jake the gorgeous pilot finds her and takes the opportunity to snuggle in the snow.  No, he won’t give up… he wants that home town date.

Later that night in a gorgeous cabin/resort, Jake tries again to connect with Jillian.  However, he’s interrupted by the boys just as he was going for the kiss.  Kiptyn scores some 1-on-1 alone time in which his chemistry with Jillian is as plain as the nose on his face… it just exists.   After their alone time proves to provide kisses, Tanner gets his shot. 

Moving onto Tanner… his alone time with Jillian starts after they have a group conversation about what she wears to bed.  This is followed by the guys sharing their bedtime wardrobe attire.  Rather than Tanner telling what he wears, he just shows her what he looks like in his tidy-whiteys.  Yes, he yanks down his jeans to his knees and flashes his body-in-underwear.  Let me just tell you that Tanner is sporting some NICE thighs and a tight tummy.  Probably more prevalent and noticeable is the considerable size of his “package.”   After the shock of his jock, they go and hang out on a fuzzy rug by the fire and he gets to give her a foot massage.  Here’s what Tanner has to say about this:

“She knows I have a foot fetish and she knows that I was blessed.” 

You know what he was talking about, right?

Moving on, he gives the viewers his rating of Jillian’s feet… a 9-9.5.  However, he does comment that they would be rated a 10 if she painted them “Mango-Mango.”  WHAT?  I don’t even know what that color is!  He has more to say about her feet:

“Now that I’ve felt how soft her feet are, I want her to meet my family and I want to get the rose.”

“I love feet and she has the best feet in the world!”

Uh… no!  I do!  (*snicker*)

After the foot-fetish show, we get to watch her 1-on-1 time with Jesse… Mr. Tall All-American guy from the glacier last week…  They kiss.  I’m bored.

Michael and Jillian have some marshmallow, s’more time by the outdoor fire.  They seem like a good fit, but she’s concerned about his age.  While this is transpiring, Tanner admits to the group of men that he was the squealer about one of the guys (Wes) having a girlfriend.  Although he names no names, Wes starts defending himself left and right while nobody else says anything.  It is then that he announces to the group that he’s had 6 shows now and he’s gotten what he wanted…publicity on t.v.  He goes on to tell the group that he might as well stay now and see if he can also get the girl. 

Can you please tell me why NONE of the men relate this to Jillian if they “care for her so much?”  I DO NOT GET IT!

The group heads to the hot tub… where else?  Jillian gives Kiptyn the rose.  I hate it when she gives roses in the hot tub.  Nothing to pin it to.

Her final private date is with Reid The Realtor.   After he asked the entire train staff for dating advice while the others were out on their date, he gets to enjoy a day on the slopes of Lake Louise.  This black-diamond skier gives up his hobby to attempt snowboarding with Jillian.  He sucked and she made the tackiest comment about the fact that she’s witnessed him ”falling head over heals” for her.  PAHLEASE!  Then, they go to an ice salon/parlor/lounge out in the snow.  Everything is made of ice and sculpted SUPER RADICAL!  I liked it. 

Later, they go inside for some fireside romance over fondue.  It is at this point that Reid shares his hypochondriac tendencies and anal retentiveness.  This turns her on.  He gets the rose and under-cooked beef.

When the train ends its trail in Banff, they disembark the rail and are met by Chris Harrison.  It’s time for the “MOST DIFFICULT ROSE CEREMONY EVER” in the gorgeous hotel.  It is here that Jillian TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY chokes it by choosing Wes-the-television-time-whore over Jake-the-perfect-pilot.  I’m angry! 

The guys who are chosen to stay and enjoy home town dates:

Jesse.. The Tall American Guy

Reid and his Vegetables

The men who have to leave:

Robby: You can make me a cocktail.

Last week I predicted she would “86″  Jake, Wes and Tanner.  I was 2 out of 3 this week with Jake and Tanner.  I think my election of Wes was just wishful thinking.  They actually show previews of upcoming shows.  Guess what’s happening?  Jake comes back, outfitted in his pilot’s uniform, to tell Jillian about SCUMBAG WES.  Wes denies it.

Wes shows her his love by taking her to visit his band and watch them perform.  When is she going to WAKE UP!?!

My prediction for next week:  Wes.

Stay tuned… 

Jake won AGAIN for last week’s poll: “Who You Like The Most.” 

Now, I need to know.  Do you think Jillian will finally get rid of Wes?

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