June 19th, 2009
I always maintained that I had raised my girls to be free thinkers, open minded to the world in its entirety. We are, after all, a family consisting of a single mom and her two daughters experiencing the freedom of the feminine prowess. The woman’s body is a beautiful, god-given thing that is to be revered and enjoyed.
I have never been either too ashamed nor shy to be naked, or partially thereto in my own home. The doors to my room and bathroom have never been locked nor closed to my daughters. They’ve caught me dressed, partially dressed, or not at all. I’ve never specifically hid myself from them. Up until recently, they’ve never been ashamed of their nakedness. One of my funniest memories is coming around the corner into a hallway and seeing my daughter down the way, on the pot (reading, I might add), with sunglasses on… in all of her naked glory and unaffected by what her sister or mother might think.
Now their bodies are changing. As their pre-womenly bodies blossom, they hide themselves from one another and from me with an overt shyness. Although I don’t understand what there is to hide, I mean, we are all women in the house after all, I respect their privacy. When either of them shower, they cover up the clouded glass shower door walls with towels to avoid any chance that they may been seen by, God forbid, her mother or her sister. And, that’s okay… even if I don’t understand it completely. The fact that I used to bathe them and change their diapers holds no merit in their minds. Their body is a private thing. I get that.
Despite my dismay at their shyness about their bodies, I respect their privacy and admire the fact that they are keeping their bodies personal. I’ve obviously done something right as I revel in the thought that I haven’t raised a camp of nudists in my home. And, yet… I’m okay with being nude in my home when I need to be. Don’t misunderstand me… I don’t parade about. It’s just that I don’t always necessarily sensor myself from MY bathroom to MY bedroom, as my bathroom is IN my bedroom. Note to self: we really need to get the funds necessary to convert the bath tub into a shower/tub in the kids’ bathroom as soon as we can afford it. That way, they have their shower room as I do mine and all of this privacy thing can be addressed.
So, where am I heading in this rambling of sorts? Well… it came about a couple of weeks ago when Dee had a report to complete for Social Studies. She had elected Poseidon (Neptune), God of the Seas. She needed to complete a poster board which included photos of her chosen subject. As we searched the Internet for photos to print out, we identified numerous pictures of statues and fountains which featured him. Terrific! There were also renderings and pieces of art. Of course, there were no photographs as he was, after all, a mythological god. As you can well imagine, he’s nude in the majority of the photos.
After I assist her with downloading the pictures and printing them out, she lays them out on the kitchen table.
“Mom!” she exclaimed. “I am going to get a F on my assignment.”
“Why?” I asked, thinking she’s over-reacting once again.
“I don’t have enough photos for the poster board,” she explained.
“But, you have over 10 to choose from that I’ve printed,” I retorted.
“I can’t use them,” she sighed.
“And, just why is that? They are perfectly good photos,” I state.
“Because he’s NAKED, Mom! I can’t use those!” she cried.
After over 30 minutes of discussion on the matter, she still holds steadfast to the point that she refuses to use any of the actual statue photographs because his penis is showing… and “IT’S SO GROSS!”
Huh? Gross? Since when is art “GROSS?” It’s not gross, it’s art for Heaven’s sake!
Oh, but it’s sooooo not! Well, that is, according to my seemingly uptight daughter. The daughter that used to float about the house naked.
I suggest that we use the photos anyway. She argues that she will get a “F” because she claims that it’s not permitted in school. Despite my on-going arguments on the topic, she refuses. I recommend that we black out the penis. No, that’s too obvious and she’ll be the laughing stock of the school. Oh, and her teacher will not permit it.
I’m infuriated at this point. If the school will not allow nudity in art, then they are going to be faced by me… in the office or in the school district giving them a piece of my mind, or.. what’s left of it after the twins’ have wrecked havoc on it! I mean, does her teacher really think that Poseidon swam around in a 3-piece suit? Or jeans? Uh… no! And, besides, this is art not pornography.
You must know that the arguing, coercing, and fighting transpired for hours and my night was frustratingly horrible, at best. After discussing this story with my friend, Danielle, I discover that her daughter also had a mythological god and that she and her daughter had a very similar argument. Danielle and I both agreed that there was nothing to be ashamed of.
Did I have these issues with naked statues at age 12? Was I ultimately and totally embarrassed by nudity in my pre-teens? I honestly cannot remember!
What did we settle on? Cartoon drawings that didn’t reveal his “manhood.” I mean, never mind the fact that he’s completely naked except for that! Or, I had to crop the statues above the waist to prevent any nudity from emanating from her poster.
She did receive an “A” on the project. But, I still haven’t gotten over the art embarrassment issue. How did I raise girls who were so completely mortified by a cement penis?
Posted in Personal Blogs
10 Responses to “The Writer’s Block: Nakedness Is Not Necessarily A Bad Thing… Is It?”
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Name: Sheri
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Bio: Welcome & Thank You For Visiting!!! Hello... I'm Sheri, the proud keeper of my own personal menagerie consisting of twin daughters, 2 poochies, 3 kitties, and 3 fish tanks. To learn more about me, please visit my "About" Page where you can also access my BOOK REVIEW POLICY.
Well, if you were a guy with a CEMENT penis, you might be mortified too! :–) But really, your articles are so consistently good and entertaining. Have you ever tried to submit them to magazines? Because that might be a great source of extra income, and I can’t imagine all sorts of magazines finding them publishable!
rhapsodyinbooks´s last blog ..Review of “The Link” by Colin Tudge
sheri, I think this reaction is because of the over sexualization that our children are exposed to at such a young age. They can’t avoid it, and much of the info that stems from Monica Lewensky/clinton type scandal IS gross – Whereas our first exposure to anatomy was through art – we were allowed to see it a beautiful first. Just my pre-coffee two cents
I wonder if your daughter’s reaction would have been different if you’d been looking at statues of naked or partially nude goddesses. Perhaps her comfort with the female body doesn’t extend to the male body because it remains more of a mystery in your all-female home? (Not that I’d advocate exposing your daughters to naked men walking around the house, but you know what I mean.) And it’s not like penises are all that aesthetically pleasing to begin with
I loved this article, and I think you’re right on to protest if the school really does put up a fight. Art is art. Bodies are bodies. Bodies are sometimes art. And that’s okay.
Rebecca @ The Book Lady’s Blog´s last blog ..Bloggiesta Mini-Challenge: Clean Up Your Feedreader!
I so love your stories. You’re a great writer.
My daughter is getting to the stage where her nakedness is embarrassing to her, but this doesn’t stop her from walking in on me in the bathroom or bedroom. She’ll just say, “Oh, we have the same parts.”
Anna´s last blog ..CHILDREN OF THE FLAMES by Lucette Matalon Lagnado and Sheila Cohn Dekel
You know I don’t remember what I was like at 12 either (that was kinda long ago-lol) but my mom and I have never hid our nakedness from each other. We’ve always gone into the bathroom, bedrooms when the other was there with no embarrassment. My dad on the other hand was hilarious when I was a kid. He would run from the room if I so much as threatened to take my clothes off to try something on. lol. I don’t know. I think a lot has to do with the age and I bet as they become more comfortable, they will also become a little freer again especially as they weren’t brought up to be shy about it. In some ways I think it’s good as it shows a good respect for their bodies. Although hiding it from mom and sister is a little wacky. I’m sure it’ll work itself out.
Darlene´s last blog ..Friday Finds (June 19)
I think it’s totally normal. I remember being really embarassed at that age about anything having to do with male anatomy. So much so that I would turn red like a beet if you forced me to sit next to a guy in a speedo. (Yeah, that made my first few weeks on the swimming team very interesting.)
I think if I was hanging out with girlfriends at that age, I probably would have giggled and said “ew” to naked male art statues just because of embarassment, and also just not knowing what to say.
Now if my mom had been helping me with a school project and we were forced to handle printouts of said statues, well I’m sure there would have been a lot of giggling too, and embarassment. And if my mom would have tried to be all modern and cool and start defending male anatomy in art I probably would have flipped and started arguing with her. (Well, because at that age I argued with her about practically everything.)
But when it comes down to it, there is no way in heck I would have ever had naked statue pictures on one of my school projects. Way too much potential to be teased by other kids, not to mention having to carry the thing into school and thinking “everyone knows I’m holding pictures of penises.” Kind of like Doris Day in That Touch of Mink, where she thinks everyone knows about her affair. (I love that movie BTW.)
Anyway, I think that your kids are perfectly normal.
Alyce´s last blog ..Friday Finds – June 19
Kids, eh? Great article. They are getting their attitudes on this from their peers. They’ll laugh about it when they’re older.
I remember my first interaction with sexuality–in a controlled setting–was in the third grade. It was time for sexual education and the teachers separated the boys and girls into different classrooms.
In the boy’s room, they learned exactly what we did. They got to see naked lady bits and the interiors just as we got to see naked boy bits and their interiors.
When the classes were re-co-eded (yeah, made up word), we all refused to look each other in the eyes.
In the span of a single afternoon, we were all thinking “OMG, that’s what’s under [Insert Insanely Cute Boy or Girl's Name Here]’s clothes?”
In some cases, we were even looking at our teachers with a slight level of nausea. (At that point, I’m glad my teacher was a woman because I don’t think I could have handled looking at a male teacher through opened eyes.)
As a result, we became a bit more shy about nudity and our own bodies. And it didn’t go away for a while…in fact, for me, it’s lingered well into adulthood. Plus, the amount of sexuality that we’re exposed to (and by we, I mean everyone including children) on a daily basis isn’t helping.
Long comment short(er), I believe your daughter is at a healthy stage. She’s beginning to blossom and her lady bits are becoming more pronounced. It’s jarring to say the least. LOL
The best you can do is love her and remind her that it’s normal and that she has absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. And it seems as though you’ve already got that covered.
As for the nudity in art situation, I completely agree with you that there’s nothing wrong with it–however, at that age, we don’t quite look at art the same way. Not saying your daughter is not mature, but being able to look at art with sound judgment comes with life experience and a certain level of maturity. Give her time, I’m sure she’ll come around, then look back on this little argument and laugh.
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Wow. Interesting commentary on younger kids and their projects for school. I don’t remember being mortified by a naked statue or art work, but I was always an odd kid.
I’m pretty sure the teacher would not have said a thing about the naked statues on the posters.
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I think your daughters’ reactions are normal for their age. I wanted to conceal my body, too, at that age. Privacy becomes a huge thing in all areas, not just in nudity.
I don’t know if the school does not allow them to have any kind of sexual images, no matter if they are mythical Greek gods or what, because even in the 10 years I have been out, things have changed dramatically. It could be because of the age they are that no one would pay attention to her presentation because they’d all be giggling or making comments. Or it could be that she knew she’d blush in front of all of her classmates and that would be more humiliating than having the pictures on her board. In my opinion, I would think the cartoon images would give her a lower mark for not being authentic enough, but hey I am not the teacher. I think that if they are old enough to be studying these gods than they are old enough to know how they were truly represented.
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