Monday, May 11, 2009

DWTS: Lil’ Kim Is Alive & Well and She’s Living In Your Pants!

GILLES SHEDS A TEAR

CATHERINE ZETA “SHAWN” ?

“I WOULDN’T JUMP AROUND TOO MUCH IN THAT DRESS IF I WERE YOU, SAMANTA.”  (-Tom Bergeron to Samantha Harris on her low cut dress)

THE SAMBA IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PARTY, BUT IT’S MORE LIKE A PAIN IN THE ASS WITH A WHILE LOT OF STEPS PUT INTO IT!

My readers have voted on my “Who Should Go Home Next Poll.”  They agree that this week is Ty’s turn to leave the show.  Tonight’s the night to see how he performs.  Will Shawn hold her position?  Will Melissa remain the leader of the pack? 

Here’s my nagging  and praising for this week’s couples:

 First Dance – Viennese Waltz:  DeeDee best described the judges as “adults who are bickering like little children.”  It was ridiculous.  Bruno is freaking out and screaming about Ty’s “wobbles” and Len is trying to shut him up.  I actually agreed with Len.  He tried tremendously hard and there is just this feeling that I get watching Ty and Chelsie that makes me root for them.  I want to see them do well.  You can almost compare my feeling to when you are watching the Winter Olympics.  It’s the ladies’ figure skating competition and it is our American gal up for her turn.  You just want to see her do well… no spills, no trips.  That’s how I feel when I watch this couple; I just want them to do well.  And, I think that Ty is such a gentleman.  Bruno could learn a thing or two about that from Ty.  On the dance, the costumes were not so wonderful.  Chelsie looked like she was wearing something out of I Dream of Jeanie or Alladin.  The dance was charming.  There were a few issues, especially when Ty missed her leg coming up for a hold/spin.  But, I adored it and I’ll miss them both if they are voted off.  Scores: 8-9-8

Second Dance – The Samba:  If there was a gold medal for bravest heart, Ty would win it, hands-down!  Their samba was completely ADORABLE, but it didn’t cut the mustard, technically.  To see Ty shimmee was hysterical.  I laughed aloud several times in his hometown tape and during the performance.  I have just learned that Jewel married a GEM OF A GUY!  Scores: 8-7-8

Overall Total:  48/60

Fourth Place

 First Dance – Argentine Tango: The lifts alone in this routine were worth some pretty high scores!  Shawn came out with the drama and maturity that was required for her to pull of this sexy dance.  I was NOT AT ALL impressed with Mark Ballas’ eyeliner.   Not so macho, Mark!  I thought they did a very nice job.  I do not, however, think it was better than Melissa and Tony’s from a few weeks ago.  Colie said, “I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!”  For me, I liked it, but it didn’t give me goosebumps.  Scores: 10-10-10.

Second Dance – The Jive:  Her hometown video was as All-American as apple pie.  She’s A GOLD MEDALIST and one of America’s Sweethearts.  I mean, who doesn’t like Shawn?  I can’t think of anybody.  I think that their dance was good.  However, there were several parts of the dance where they were not in-sync with one another, footwise.  In addition, there were 2 mistakes in the routine… albeit minor.  Her first routine was head and shoulders above her second routine.  Scores:  9-8-9

Overall Total:  56/60

Second Place

First Dance – The Quick Step:  Melissa and Tony spent a lot of time focusing on Melissa’s footwork to satisfy Poopy-Pants Len.  For that, it paid off as they got his 10.  However, they sacrificed Carrie Ann’s and Bruno’s votes by not having enough “zip” and “soul” in it.  I could see what Carrie Ann and Bruno were saying, but I still think that they judge Melissa on a different level than the other contestants.  And, THAT’S NOT FAIR!  Remember… the very first season of DWTS had Trista from The Bachelor and she was also a prior cheerleader.  I think she was voted off in the first or second week.  Just because you were a cheerleader doesn’t mean that you’re a seasoned professional that needs more scrutinization in scoring.  OK… I like Melissa and I just don’t like them picking on her.  Can you tell?  Their dance was delightful and reminded me of something that you’d see at Disney.  Very animated and sweet.  Technically, it was as sound as it could get.   As their song said, “Who Could Ask For Anything More?”  (P.S. Great black and pale pink costumes) Scores: 9-10-9

Second Dance – Cha Cha Cha:  I enjoyed the video on Melissa’s past.  What I found quite curious is that her parents agreed to be televised for Dancing With The Stars, but refused to for The Bachelor.  Makes me say, “hmmm….”  I thought their routine was zesty, crisp, and clean!   Bruno was a complete NINKAMPOOP with his judges remarks and was telling the audience to “shut up!”  Again, I thought their criticisms were too harsh.  I am just totally and completely FED UP with the judges on their scores for Melissa.  She’s my pick.  I want her to be in the finals.  I’m biased and a bitter, old woman.  Booooo!  Hisss!!!  Scores:  9-9-9

Overall Total:  55/60

Third Place

First Dance – The Waltz:  Cheryl brought in Johnathan (prior dancer on the show) to assist in the rehearsal.  He really helped Gilles better understand the male role of the dance.  Simply, their dance was gorgeous, flawless, and romantic.  I loved it!  Their costumes were elegant.  Len gave them a “sitting down” standing ovation.  Scores: 10-10-10

Second Dance – The Salsa:  I loved the video about his past and how he’s worked hard for the success he’s achieved.   Carrie Ann Inaba loved the dance, Len said he wished he had an “11 paddle” and Bruno just raved about it.  I thought it was a solid performance with a lot of heart.  He deserves to go to the finals!   Scores: 10-10-10

Overall Total: 60/60

First Place

For more commentary on this week’s DWTS, visit Apooo’s Site… she’s got tons of good conversation on everything!  

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