Monday, Mar 23, 2009

DWTS: Maks in Pink?

MEN IN PINK? 

“THROBBING RED HOT POKERS?”

EARTH WORMS?

Belinda Carlisle has been voted off amidst the argument of the ladies competing over who’s done the most centerfolds.  (Gag Me With A Spoon).  This week, as we face the ramifications of yet more injuries, we look forward to who’s going to step up to the plate… or, dance floor.   

Here’s my nagging  and praising for this week’s couples:

  Well, our Chelsie took a spill on the dance floor.  But, that didn’t stop our newest Fred Astaire from being the hero of the ballroom.  He picked right back up and they got started again.  I was so sad for them about the fall, but, their scores proved to be good.  This cowboy is certainly learning the ropes.  Scores: 8-8-7

I’m so totally bummed out about this dance.  Steve really tried to pull it together and get the Foxtrot right.  The beginning of their dance looked really sweet, but somewhere along the way he lost his steps.  Now, if you couple this with twisting his ankle and straining his back AGAIN, I just don’t see how they have a chance.  It’s a shame, Lacy is my VERY FAVORITE dancer on the program.  She was very kind and considerate to Steve.  Scores: 5-5-5.  (Note:  I’d rather watch him try again than Barbie-Skeletor or Whiny-Molly any day!)  

“Shake Shake Shake, Senora” they did… NOT.  There was some kind of freaky shaking by Steve, but it scared the hell out of Bruno.  Bruno almost looked completely p’d off when the dance was through.  Carrie Ann Inaba said that Steve’s worm looked like “an earthworm.”  The poor guy pulled a hamstring this week.  That, coupled with a hurt foot, is a recipe for disaster in dancing and it doesn’t help when you’re not naturally gifted with that sense of rhythm.  So, their scores were worse than a Halloween Fright:4-3-3.

I absolutely LOVED their dance this week.  It was beautiful, fluid, graceful and just sweet.  Pure, sweet, romance in a dance.  I’m wondering if Mark is still with Sabrina?  If not, little Shawnee would be a good next one for him (after she turns 18)!  She obviously thinks he’s cute from her remarks in the rehearsal tape.  I’m just a sucker for romance!  Even without it, they are just beautiful to watch and with the scores of 9-9-9, they are sure to be around next week, as they should be!  Very good! 

Carrie Ann Inaba irritated me with her comments.  She claimed that ballroom dancing came easy to Melissa.  As far as I know, Melissa has never ballroom danced before.  Yes, she was a cheerleader, but that’s not the same.  That’s like comparing a tap dancer to a ballroom dancer.  I know because I studied all types of dance growing up.   No two genres are alike.  It’s like saying a hip-hop dancer can perform a ballet.  NO!  I’m a bit miffed.  But, anyway, she was lovely and I believe I spotted a diamond ring on her left finger.  Hmm… could her old boyfriend that she re-united with have promised a future to Melissa?  I loved the dance and she’ll be around for a while.  I wonder, sometimes, if Jason and Molly watch the show and see her dance.  Scores: 9-9-9.

I wish I could like her, I really do.  But, she just plain BUGS me to death.  She seems to be way to wrapped up in grabbing attention.  Her comment about her “providing a party on the dance floor” and that we’re “all invited” just made me what to… (well, never mind what it made me want to do…).  She’s constantly grasping for attention and I just can’t stand it.  O.K. for the compliments.  She does have some rhythm and some musicality.  Why can’t I like her?  I feel bad, I just can’t.  Scores:  8-8-9

In Lawrence’s rehearsal film, were we all to be “wow’d” by his ability for forfeit his golf lesson for the sake of his performance in the show?  Huh?  He can golf when this season of DWTS is over, or he is eliminated.  I shook my head at that one.  That’s no sacrifice, Lawrence.  If I got to be on DWTS, I’d pull out my eye teeth or whatever it took, I’d be so thrilled.  But, I guess that’s just me.  And, I really do need my chompers.  Edyta’s eyeshadow was appalling!  Shame on the make-up artist.  Less, baby, is more.  The dance?  Not bad.  Not bad at all!  Score: 7-6-7.

Holy Guacamole!  This dance was HOT HOT HOT!  Bruno’s comment was that Gilles came out like a “throbbing red hot poker.”  He came out like something.  Carrie Ann’s comment was that Gilles brings out something in Cheryl that she hasn’t seen in a long time.  I agree.  Gilles brings passion out in Cheryl and she’s excited to be dancing with him.  Their samba just kicked latin butt!  I really found the rehearsal tape endearing when Gilles’ mother came in from France and she cried when she saw him dance.  Aww…. Scores:9-9-9.  (BTW:  The twins call Gilles “The Naked Guy” whenever we talk about the show… no – they haven’t seen the movie, they just heard him talk about it when the show started.  Go Naked Guy!)

 In watching the filming of their rehearsal, Holly was nothing more than a whiny little baby.  I can’t believe that she threw herself on the floor!  Her exterior looks couldn’t mask her self-centered pouting in rehearsals for me.  She even made the comment to Dmitry that he probably wished that he had Jewel back (uh, YEAH!).  While dancing she resembled a barbie doll being tossed about by a handsome, prince.  Her legs were lifeless and her boobs entirely too inflated.  Len Goodman best described it when he said that Holly was like a match – “all fire on the top and nothing but wood on the bottom.”  Yeah, wooden legs that didn’t have any bend or pizazz!  I still don’t know who I want voted off more, her or Barbie-Skeletor aka Denise. Score: 5-6-6  (Note:  When Samantha talked to them after the scores, you should have seen Dmitry’s reaction to the “bet you wish you had Jewel back” comment… uh… his face said it all!  Tom Bergeron even came back with the comment that Holly must feel really reassured now. HEE HEE).

Watching this performance was sheer pain… like childbirth, I just wanted it to be over.  The highlight was Maks cross-dressing as a pink samba queen… COOL!   But, there wasn’t much that this stick figure could do to make this dance even resemble a Samba.  With scores of 5-6-5, I wondered to myself… why not 3-3-3?

Mr. “All Sizzle and No Sausage” is up again.  He practiced very hard this week and it showed.  He did a nice performance.  I wasn’t wow’d… but, it was a good, solid performance.  He’s really trying and that’s what counts the most.  Scores: 8-8-8

Chuckie-Boy is getting better.  Good for this little potato farmer.  I actually enjoyed their dance this week and suddenly thought to myself that my-Chuckie was a little cutie-pah-tootie.  Their hard work paid off and Chuck is on his way to an improved season.  Bravo!  Scores: 8-7-8

For more commentary on this week’s DWTS, visit Apooo’s Site… she’s got tons of good conversation on everything!  The results show is on after the Presidential Address 9pm.  Adele is performing (YEAH) along with Hall & Oates.

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