Tuesday, Mar 10, 2009

DWTS: Season 8 Premiers

DWTS: THIS SEASON IS DIFFERENT

It seems as though this seasons’ stars don’t have the same “star power” as many of the past ones.  I was really looking forward to Jewel and she’s out for the season.  We need to get some vintage rock stars on this show and maybe somebody from an old television favorite.  We would have been better off with David Lee Roth and Maureen McCormick!  Frankly, I have no interest in watching Steve-O dance.  I’m sorry, but it’s how I feel. 

The “low-down” on this week’s couples:

I really loved the Go-Gos when I was in the 8th grade, but “my lips are sealed” about the strange bouncy-booby shaking in her preview video…  She’s just a lovely person, but she looks like she’s been visiting Priscilla Presley’s plastic surgeon. As for the dancing… average, at best.

  Ty was so sweet and so endearing.  For a cowboy, he did very well.   You can tell that he’s just so bummed out that Jewel is no longer in the competition.  So much for doing things as a couple.  They didn’t really say on the show what exactly happened to her.  Makes me go “hmmmm…..”  I didn’t think he was that bad to induce Carrie Ann Inaba into a hysterical fit.  There were some total white guy, two left feet moves, but he was real and gave it a shot.  I like him!   For those who are So You Think You Can Dance fans… yes, that familiar face is from last season!  Love her!

Like-a-bility factor:  10! 

Who wants to go by their name with a “-O” attached to the end?  I mean, he’s got to be in his 30′s now.  You’re sober now, dude, use your real and full name.  I can’t imagine going by “Sheri-O.”  I couldn’t even tell my kids what he’s best known for.  Have y’all seen his videos were he mutilates his private parts?  Moron.  Although, I’m glad he’s sober… 10 points!  And, he did give it an earnest and truthful shot.  But, watching him turning on his toes was painful!  

Did you catch her GORGEOUS Peacock Dress?  Fabuloso!

I think that Steve Wozniak has a bit of a cult following.  For all of you Kathy Griffin fans, you might remember him from their “relationship” last season on Life on the D-List.  I think he is a total quirky crack-up and that thing he rides around on is just too funny!  He’s Nerd-A-Licious but his practice session donning shorts, white-ass legs, and black socks was reminiscent of watching my father’s outfit when he mowed the lawn (eeewwwwhhhh!).  Karina’s outfit was very racy.  Only the necessary parts were covered (just barely).  Steve’s such a stand-up guy, he hardly noticed.  I think he was too busy counting out the steps in his head.  You got to love an analytical guy trying to make sense of art.  

They totally suck… but, the like-a-bility factor is a 9!

I think that Miss Shawnie is just wonderful.  She’s like jellie-bellies and balloons… just pure joy.  I have nothing but wonderful things to say about her.  Did you catch her pointed-toe extension?  Fantastic!  I think that Mark has a lot to work with and she’s one to watch. 

This picture cracks me up!  I think this is her “The Bachelor” photo.  Doesn’t Tony’s head look so much bigger than hers?  Hopefully, they’ll get a new picture soon.  So, the big controversy is that she has prior dance experience.  So what!  So did Lance Bass!  So have many others…. like doesn’t an ice-skater have to take ballet?  I think that it’s wonderful that she’s afforded this opportunity!  She deserves for something fun and good to happen in her life.  I’m rooting for her! 

First Steve-O and now this?  So we reward people who LIE to the Grand Jury and do drugs?  And, now ABC is endorsing giving “shout outs” to the girls in the “Pen?”  WHAT?  Couldn’t have the producers of this show picked any other recording artist other than this one?  She doesn’t even seem remorseful.  I don’t know… anybody but her.  I can’t wait until she and Steve-O are voted off.  This is a family show.  These should be stars that we are proud of, not hiding what they are famous for to our kids.  BOOO HISSS!  No wonder Derek looks mad in this picture.

Edyta and her leg warmers are back.  She’s got another really talented partner who has god-given dance moves inside him.  He’s going to blossom.  It’s just going to take him getting out of his head and into his heart and soul when he dances.  He’s a dark horse in this competition… one to watch!

Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl… every woman in America wants to be you right now.  Well, that or his WIFE!  This gorgeous hunk of man is happily married.  I thought he was hot n’ all in Sex In The City… but, now… MY GOD IN HEAVEN!  It’s more than my little heart can handle.  He can shake his bootay and look good doing it.  Plus, Cheryl seems all amp’d up and excited.  This is a team that will make the semi-finals.

 This has got to be the WORST Photoshopping job I’ve seen in my life!  Now, she’s the huge-headed monster.  Here we go again, ABC!  Nice family show with a Playboy Bunny?  I mean, who’s next season?  Jenna Jameson?  Did they try asking Rachel Ray, first?  I can’t tell who I want voted off more quickly… her or Steve-O.  Oh… and even the twins agree on the hair… it’s really gotta go!  It looks like Barbie hair!

 Aaaahhh… another shining example of what a woman should be… a husband-stealer and fame monger.  Does this woman ever eat?  Maybe she’d have a stronger emotional backbone with some food in her tummy.  Maybe I should make her a basket of muffins like in Desperate Housewives.  At least she has some type of “normal” fame.  But, she just does nothing for me, whatsoever.  As I write this post, I get more and more disappointed by the moment.  Did you guys see in the press that there is speculation that she is trying to steal Maks from Karina?

I think that David Alan Grier did a fine job.  I totally agreed with Len Goodman; the facial expressions need to stop.  They were quite distracting and Cole said that the smile looked like it was cut out and plastered on his face.  Besides that, I think he did a rather bang-up job.  Good for him.  I think that we’ll continue to see his sense of humor reveal itself in weeks to come.

I am not a big country-western music fan.  So, it may totally be just ME that I had no clue who this guy was until I saw him in a People Magazine picture with Julianne.  OK… kudos points… he is really cute!  His dancing isn’t terrible.  But, please leave me a comment.  Is this guy famous in his own right?  Would you consider him a star?  Was this ABC’s way of convincing Julianne to do another season?  Remember, last season she donned it her last.  Was it… let’s give her the boyfriend and she’ll stay?  Booooooo and Hisssss to Julianne for selling out!  (Well, I think… maybe…).

For more commentary on this week’s DWTS, visit Apooo’s Site… she’s got tons of good conversation on everything!

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