Again, for those who missed reading Part 3 of Misconceived last week… my apologies.  I almost didn’t make it tonight, either.  I’ve got things on my mind and am having difficulty finding the joy to write.  Hopefully, my story telling will take me out of my funk!

Now, Part 3 of  “Misconceived”…

We left off last time around the end of my sophomore year in high school.  As you may recall, you were introduced to my best friends Lori and Jill.  They were and still are, to this very day, my sisters and my closest friends.  I would do anything for either of them and feel certain that they would do the same for me.

As I mentioned in the last post, Lori was a really positive and loving influence on my life.  Together, we shared church and I was baptized with her younger sister, Cheri through our youth group.  Church and the high school group was a positive reinforcement in my life… but, never 100% tamed my more “wild” side (for lack of a better word).  When I was with Lori, I always felt as if I was never good enough to be her friend.  And, trust me, she NEVER put that on me.  It was my insecurities placing them on myself.  Through some unimportant boy dramas, Lori and I found ourselves separating through the end of our high-school days.  This was the friend that I never thought I could be away from on my 2 week vacation to British Columbia with the family and wrote her every day in a journal!  This was my friend who would sit with me on the phone until all hours of the night.  I just became way too much of a drama queen where boys were concerned and she just had such better judgment than I when it came to those things.  Thank God that we are soulmates and our lives have intertwined since high school.  Today, she is still my very best friend.

Jill is that one person in my life that I have always felt safe “in my own skin” with.  No matter how good, no matter how bad… we were sisters.  Even today, when I see her, I feel a deep spiritual connection to her and know that she truly sees me.  She introduced me into a cool circle of friends including Angie, Trisha and Krissy.  We all went on a graduation cruise together to Mexico…. ahh, the joys of underage drinking, pajama soccer in the hallways, and chasing boys.  We never got in any serious trouble, but… I can tell you that I’d never let my girls do 1/2 of the things that we did!  I shake my  head thinking about all of the terror we created and thank GOD that nothing bad ever happened to any of us.  What else was I thankful for?  Miss. Clairol (was there any other hair color than blonde?) and AquaNet (white with pink lettering).  Jill has always understood me… what a safety in that!

Angie, Trisha, Krissy (top L->R) and Me & Jill (bottom)

Besides my girlfriends, I had one amazing influence in my final high-school years, my first love Kristofer.  To say that I was madly in love with him would be an understatement!  I remember seeing him in the halls at school.  He was so tall, tan, blonde, and GORGEOUS.  His eyes were like the waters of the tropics and his smile could warm the glaciers.  He was amazing in my eyes.  It seemed as though a girl like me would never meet a guy as popular as him.  So what did I do?  Boy-crazy and completely insecure?  I flirted with the new guy in school….Mike the quarterback.  Now, don’t get me wrong, he was cute, tall, brunette and fabulous smile.  But, (and, sorry Mike if you read this), totally cocky and very shallow.  Totally irresistible to my foolish mind.  Somehow, don’t ask me how, we started to hang out.  This was just before my 16th birthday.  My mother thought it would be a great surprise if she invited him to our house for my 16th birthday party in which all of my 3 friends showed up.  I was totally humiliated, to say the least!  

 

 

In my quest for pleasing Mike and somehow getting my hands on that Varsity Jacket, I spent time with him after-school.  He pressed for things that I wasn’t quite ready for and the constant make-out sessions left us both… unhappy.  Mike had the lovely attribute of spreading rumors that were complete exaggerations of what truly transpired between us.  In addition, Mike had been flirting and dating, I believe, another girl named Kristen.  So, it ended as quickly as it begun.  Besides, I was still secretly madly infatuated with Kristofer.  Mike didn’t like Kristofer.  Perhaps it was as though Kristofer was his biggest rival for the chicks on campus.  They were, after all, both lettering in athletic teams, tall, and totally hot.   In any event, Mike spread some vicious rumors about me around school to make himself look like B.M.O.C. and I didn’t know what was being said.  Although, suddenly, I was being asked out on a lot more dates from the “jocks.”  It wasn’t until I was on a date that I learned about Mike’s Mouth.  I was on a date with a boy who attempted to “feel me up.”  I smacked him and asked him why he thought that was, in any way, acceptable.  Wasn’t it lovely to discover that Mike said that I let him do it… and that I was permissible.  EEEEEEEKKKKK!  What?  Oh, HELL NO!  But, the damage was done.  And, now there would be no chance at ever meeting Kristofer. 

After seeing Kristofer around the halls of school, he caught me staring at him while at his locker.  I did die of embarrassment.  But, it never squashed my hopes that one day… one fateful day he would know me.  As for every wish on a falling star, this one came true.  One day in December, I was sitting in my last period class.  In walked Kristofer to hang with the teacher (who I think was a coach of his??).  He sat up at the front of the classroom right on the other side of my desk.  OH GOD.  We talked.  I can’t remember what in the world we talked about, but I do remember offering him a lift home.  That was the beginning of my relationship with Kristofer.  He was beautiful and amazing but in ways that far surpassed his physical exterior to me.  I became surprised to see his heart and learn that he was a romantic.  He was gentle with me and very funny.  He was soulful, musical, deep and introspective.  He was smart, yet very brave.  He always made me feel beautiful.  I could kiss him for days, for years, and even eternity had it let me. 

I made so many mistakes when we dated.  I can start by lying to my parents, getting caught and being put on restriction.  This ended up with us being separated more times than I can count.  In addition, Kristofer was a senior when I was a junior.  He would be leaving and my insecurity about that only surfaced in the way of anger and possessiveness (yeah, like that’s the way to go!).  Him in all of his senior activities and me feeling insecure every step of the way led to one of our many inevitable break-ups. 

Then came prom.  I went with John, my new boyfriend from another school, who absolutely adored me and treated me with such respect and admiration that I never deserved.  After all, I was still in love with Kristofer.  John and I walked into the room and there stood Kristofer and Candy (did I mention, I HATED her… she always tried to get her claws into him).  I stood, motionless staring at Kristofer.  I wonder if he remembers that moment and looking into my eyes.  Did he see my hurt?  Vaguely remembering what happened next, I remember making an exit, stage left, with John.  I also recall it being the shortest prom dance in history with my insistence that John take me home.  I was so horrible to him and he didn’t deserve that at all.   (so sorry John).

Proms aren’t fun!

As the end of the school year draw near, I said “goodbye” to Kristofer before class one day.  Making small talk he mentioned a party that the seniors were going to.  He asked me if I was going and I remember telling him that I wasn’t.  He had hinted that he may be interested in seeing me there or taking me and told me he’d call me later.  That, he did… but, we didn’t go to that party.  Instead, we began a summer that I will NEVER forget!

-Cont.-

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK.. time for THE SALON…

This week’s reads

Since my last Sunday Salon, I have read the following:

The Wednesday Letters 

Such a Pretty Fat

FaeFever

Sarah’s Key

The Prenup 

I just finished reading, however have not reviewed Loving Frank.  I am currently reading Desire and Deceit.

In my mailbox for review

A whole lot of NOTHING!  Yippee!.  

Challenges & Contests

THURSDAY’S THOUGHTS 

We got a winner of Who Would You Be, Serena of Savvy Verse & Wit.  She won a spot on the Thursday’s Thoughts WORLD FAMOUS BLOGROLL and I’ve asked her to contribute the next questions for Thursday’s Thoughts.  

This week at Thursday’s Thoughts, we have a Valorie’s question to readers: 

“What event in history or historical person do you feel had the greatest influence on the modern world and why?”

 So, the winner gets to be added to the WORLD FAMOUS BLOGROLL and pick the following week’s Question of the Week for Thursday’s Thoughts.   As you can see, I picked Benjamin Franklin… but, I bet some of you have some great ideas for this Thursday’s Meme!

OTHER CONTESTS

Lisa at Books on the Brain is having a GIVE-A-WAY LOLAPAHLOOZA!  No kidding!  She’s had giveaways EVERY DAY!  Head on over and see what you can still get in on!

READING CHALLENGES

The Just For the Love of It Challenge:  Reminder to all who are participating in the challenge, don’t forget to add your FEBRUARY reviews to Mr. Linky.  Simply, go to the sidebar, under the Just For the Love Of It Challenge Picture, there is a hyperlink for you to enter your January reviews into the January post and your February reviews into the February post.   Come on, now… share your posts with the rest of us!  LINK LINK LINK! (Thanks)

At Home

The girls won last week’s game… still undefeated.  My daughter, Dee, threw a basket that I couldn’t have made in 1,000 years!  So proud of that “swoosh!”  They also started spring soccer. 

Nearly done with all of my tax stuff, thank GOD!  Still no job.  Ugh.

I had my first Book Club Meeting with Lisa last Sunday  and I also wrote a guest post for Literary Menagerie this week.

I played Bunco and didn’t win… boo!

Other than that… not much new to share.  I used to love Valentine’s Day.  But, this one was.. BY FAR… the worst one I’ve ever had.

As always, the time that you take to read my blog means the WORLD to me!  Thank you so much!

6 Responses to “The Sunday Salon: Misconceived, Pt. 3”