Jennifer Aniston: Getting Over the Fairy Tale…???

Saturday, Nov 22, 2008

Jennifer Aniston: Getting Over the Fairy Tale…???

I just finished reading the web-based version of the December 2008 article in Vogue Magazine… the famous interview with Jennifer Aniston. My sister, Terra, sent me the link and said we should talk about it. I haven’t spoken with her about it yet, but I wanted to read up and see what all the clamour was about.

This is the part of the article that I wanted to address (as most others do, as well):

“I ask her if she can remember exactly when the post-divorce acrimony receded. “You mean, when were Brad and I healed?” she says.

Yes, I say.

“Well, it never was that bad,” she says, knowing that it will be hard for a lot of people to believe. “I mean, look, it’s not like divorce is something that you go, ‘Oooh, I can’t wait to get divorced!’ It doesn’t feel like a tickle. But I’ve got to tell you, it’s so vague at this point, it’s so faraway in my mind, I can’t even remember the darkness. I mean, in the end, we really had an amicable split. It wasn’t mean and hateful and all of this stuff that they tried to create about Brad can’t talk to Jen and Jen can’t talk to Brad because this person won’t allow it. It just didn’t happen. The marriage didn’t work out. And pretty soon after we separated, we got on the phone and we had a long, long conversation with each other and said a lot of things, and ever since we’ve been unbelievably warm and respectful of each other. Whoever said everything has to be forever, that’s setting your hopes too high. It’s too much pressure. And I think if you put that pressure on yourself—because I did! Fairy tale! It has to be the right one!—that’s unattainable.”

When I ask her about Angelina Jolie, Aniston asks me to turn off the tape recorder for a moment. Suffice it to say, if there is never any love gained in the first place, there can be no love lost. But she did want to put a few things on the record. (Funnily enough, they involve some of the same issues brought up by the recent profile of Jolie in The New York Times, in which she talks about falling in love on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith.) She asks me if I ever saw a cartoon that appeared in the New York Posta couple of years ago that depicts Aniston talking on the phone in her kitchen. The bubble over her head says, HI ANGELINA…I DECIDED TO TAKE YOU UP ON YOUR OFFER OF A “SIT-DOWN TALK.”…In the drawing, Aniston is loading a shotgun, and there is a copy of Voguesitting next to her. (The cartoon was inspired by an interview I did with Jolie for this magazine in January 2007 in which she said she would welcome the opportunity to “sit down” with Aniston.) Someone sent Aniston the cartoon (“the funniest thing I’ve ever seen,” she says), and afterward, she could not resist the urge to buy a copy of Vogueto see what the fuss was about. What really rankled Aniston about the piece was that Jolie felt the need to recount a detailed timeline of exactly how her relationship developed on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, while Aniston was still married to and living with Pitt. “There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening,” says Aniston. “I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss.” Aniston, still galled, shakes her head in disbelief. “That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool.”

What grabs me about this section? Many things…

Is a “Forever Love” and “Lifetime” marriage attainable? When we get married to that man of our dreams… is it just a fairy tale as Jennifer suggested? Do we put too much pressure on ourselves when we enter into a marriage?

Is there only one true love for each person in this world? Or, do we have multiple true loves/soul mates in the romantic realm of our lives?

Is Jennifer justifying the fact that her husband so blatantly and disrespectfully betrayed her by minimizing the divorce in her quote above? Or, is she just trying to look like the bigger person for the sake of the media? Why does she feel that she needs to keep her claws in? Would I keep my claws in if I were her, or would I share my truth about it… my husband cheated on me, left me for this other woman and it totally killed me.

Many of you probably aren’t tabloid driven and don’t care… but, in the event you do…. do you secretly pick a side? For me, personally, I choose Jen. Frankly, Angelina and Brad can have one another… Jennifer can do better. When Jen and Brad were married, I liked watching them as a couple. I like Jen. But, now I can’t stand Brad anymore… despite all that he does for the benefit of others in this world, I can’t help thinking about the way he flaunts his new family as we have to watch Jennifer re-build her life publicly. Are there “Team Angelina” readers out there?

Do you ever really get over your first true love? There’s a lot I can say on that topic, but I’ll leave those thoughts just for him! But, I can say that the way I think about him today is such that I view him as a wonderful man and a part of me will always sit in adoration of him.

Are we meant to be monogamous?

What is it like to have a man leave you for another woman? Do you ever really get over it? Even when you forgive and attempt to continue the relationship, can you ever really let that ghost out of your relationship? Or, does the jealousy eat you up inside? I know that my jealousy has put the TNT into a relationship. I’m extremely possessive of what is “mine.” I’m not saying that’s a lovely way to present myself and I most likely should continue to work on that aspect of my personality… and I assume that it most likely comes from a place of insecurity, when I come to think about it.

Yesterday, I heard a wonderful interview with Gayle King interviewing Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York. Sarah discusses her current relationship with her ex-husband and she speaks of him in the highest regard. She literally said that she doesn’t make a major decision without running it past him. She describes her relationship as a man/woman relationship almost like a brother/sister thing.. but, not quite.. more like the very best of friends. Gayle asks her why she doesn’t remarry him and she never really explains why, to my satisfaction. Is a marriage a relationship that is destined to go from passion to more of a companionship? If so, why? And, if so… what about the sex? What about the desire to have passion in your life when you are in a comfy companionship with your partner? What do you do about that desire? Do you cheat? Do you just reign it in and live a lesser life than you’re entitled to? As a woman, do you just elect to live the life you’ve committed to just for the sake of your kids?

All this leads me back to the main question of this post… is love a fairy tale or is it really out there for us all to have? Really, I’d like to know…

12 Comments

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12 Responses

Amy @ My Friend Amy

November 22nd, 2008 at 1:18 pm

I’m sort of team Angelina. I know I’m in the severe minority. I’ve just never really liked Jen. I like what Angelina does for others around the world. I like that she had a really screwed up past but seems to be getting it together. I’ve always loved Brad.

I see where you’re coming from, though, about them flaunting their family. I never thought of that before. It sucks to be in the public eye and have your business be everyone’s business. I’m pretty sure they don’t really like their business being everyone’s business either. Perhaps, we really have ourselves and our curiosity to blame for that.

I like to believe forever is possible, but I don’t seem anywhere close to it.
Jackie M (Literary Escapism)

November 22nd, 2008 at 7:13 pm

I never really picked a side. I’m with you though, Brad and Jen together are hot; but I’m not all that impressed with Brad and Angelina. I think it’s because Angelina is too aware of it maybe? Whereas Jen is more of the ton to earth type and you can see her getting dirty. I know that Angelina spends all that time in third worlds and she gets dirty, but it doesn’t look right on her. Does that make sense?

Although, honestly, I’ve never been a fan of Brad. I like Jen and Angelina, but there’s nothing about Brad that I like other than he’s cute. I don’t think I’ve ever went out and purposefully saw any of his movies. The only one I’ve seen was Interview with the Vampire and that was because it was an Anne Rice novel and involved vampires. As for Jen and Angelina…I’ve seen more films by these two actresses. I don’t blame Angelina for getting involved in their marriage. I blame Brad for allowing it to happen. So I’m anti-Brad for that reason.
Aunt Terra ;)

November 24th, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Amen Jackie on the second to last sentence! Precisely how I feel.

One of the more interesting parts of the article for me was when it was referenced that Angie commented on how her kids would be able to watch their parents fall in love in the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith … I had never head that quote before and that was an awful thing to say … to be able to even admit to that – there’s something wrong.

As far as love, I love, adore, admire my husband more every day … I try to tell him so very regularly and constantly brag about him (much to your disgust!). I don’t derserve such a wonderful man; he is truly the person I respect and look up to most – I hope I can be as good of a person as he is.
Menagerie

November 25th, 2008 at 12:14 am

Yes, she does love and adore her husband and sometimes it makes me want to vomit!

But, I love her… so I won’t!
Shana @ Literarily

November 25th, 2008 at 7:52 am

First of all let me just say that Jen looks AWESOME in these pictures.

Okay, Sher, I’m not even going to TOUCH your first and last questions because I’m just really not sure what my answer is to those.

I DO think it’s possible to have more than one true loves/soulmates throughout your life. I’m thinking most people probably meet two or three? (If they’re really lucky!)

I’m not sure what her motivation is for how she’s handled her divorce, but I’d probably handle it in much the same way if I was her.

I don’t think I’ve really picked a side in this case, but out of the three, Brad is my LEAST favorite. He just doesn’t do it for me.

Sher, your thoughts on your first true love are exactly the same as mine. I’m not still pining away for him, but I have lovely memories and I’m very glad I had the experience of loving someone like that.
Vicki

November 28th, 2008 at 9:16 pm

I think Aniston is trying to minimize the hurt and pain. The same that the Duchess of York was doing. Most of us try to make the best of a bad situation including rationalizing the things that have happened to us.

Love is not a fairy tale. Our souls crave it but our society has come to accept that less than perfect behavior will always happen in those love relationships. Therefore we rationalize that true love is just a myth.
krissy

November 28th, 2008 at 11:31 pm

I’d agree she seems to be trying to minimize the hurt. It takes a long time, and I honestly don’t know if we ever get over it. She’s so cute, though!
Elizabeth

November 30th, 2008 at 7:22 am

Very thought-provoking. I think there can be forever love, with passion that flows like a tide. I also think that in the busy world we have people need to make time to keep all of their relationships strong. Besides marriages, friendships and other family relationships weaken because people are so “busy” with work and then that’s who we socialize with more.
Jenners

November 30th, 2008 at 11:49 am

Visiting from Best Post of the Week. I must say, I picked your post as I am an Us Weekly junkie and feel a little guilty for following the Brangelina and Jennifer Aniston stuff. But your post made me feel not so bad…there are some thoughts to be had there. I must confess that I am probably on Angelina’s side and I think Jennifer Aniston is trying to cover up how much she is hurt. I think you can sometimes meet the person you were really meant to be with and then must do something about it and I think that might have been what happened to Brad and Angelina. The fact that they have 3 biological kids and 3 adopted trumps a childless marriage to me. I think that it is hard to keep up the passionate and fairy tale aspects of a marriage over the long haul and that if you can’t settle down into companionship and friendship you won’t make it. Having a bunch of kids is not glamourous so I’m giving Brangelina the benefit of the doubt about their relationship.

Thank you for not making me feel so shallow for actually thinking about these things…you made it feel acceptable. I’ll be back to visit again.
Louisa

November 30th, 2008 at 2:55 pm

Hey! Visiting from BPOTW. I am definitely a fan of Jen and think your comment about Brad and Angelina flaunting their new family while Jen has to rebuild her life is spot on. I wish the media would give her a break…they’ve been split for over 3 years now and they need to take the pressure off her. I am sure she censored herself for this article as she has/had every right to do. I don’t expect her to be completely candid with the world. I found it awful in the first year or two when Angelina and Brad were off making babies and “saving the world” that Jen was totally hounded as if it was wrong of her to still be getting over it all. Hardly any time had passed and her ex had this totally new life and it was like he wasn’t grieving at all the end of their marriage. How horrible!!
I think Jen is great and I really hope that she meets a wonderful man with whom to have a family and a lifetime of love.

I have witnessed a bit of divorce amongst friends recently and it’s really caused my husband and I to have some great conversations about how we are going to ensure the longevity of our marriage. I don’t believe in “soul mates” I believe in love and in choice and that marriage is a choice. You choose to be married to someone and you choose to make it work, even when it’s hard. Perhaps that doesn’t sound romantic but I’d prefer a lifetime of genuine love than a few years of romance. So far we have been lucky that our ‘choice’ to love has been really easy, but we will keep talking, praying and preparing so that when the hard times come (as they inevitably will) we will hopefully have a good foundation to weather the storm. I love my husband more today than I did on the day we were married. I know him more, I understand him more and I more convinced that I made a great choice with him. I look forward to the next 10, 20, 50 years of marriage!

I am not sure if that really answers your questions but they are my (brief) thoughts on the topic.
Daja

November 30th, 2008 at 11:15 pm

Love is not a fairy-tale. But it doesn’t just “happen.”

This story sums up my feelings on love and marriage:

http://www.new-life.net/favrt042.htm

I think that when God instituted marriage He meant it to last forever and to be forever beautiful and to not get stagnant. We don’t see a lot of examples of that in this day-and-age, but they are out there.

(btw, when it comes to Jen, Brad, and Angelina, I’m totally on Jen’s side.)
Nguyet Bourn

September 11th, 2010 at 11:02 am

Jennifer Aniston you are like the best star on the planet and the sweetest. if you remember but you met me and my bro on TRL and you were just so nice and kind to us. I am a big fan of all of your work